I'm the one who complained about you
by Aquamarina15
Summary: Clark is PISSED after the events of Roy's Wedding. Pete, frustrated and tired of Clark, describes the events to Toby. Yes, I'm aware of the blatant JAM-related title. I couldn't resist.


Clark has never been so pissed, in all the months I've known him. All day he's been like this, probably at being thwarted (by me, but that he'll never know) in his attempts to seduce Erin. I reveled in my victory last night, screwing him over and getting to hang out with her, but I don't say a word now. Erin is very sweet, and last night wasn't a date, anyway; we're just friends.

I'm not saying I don't want to be more than friends. Because I really, really like her. But I would never try, at least not now, because she has a boyfriend. But Clark...what he tried to pull off was fearless.

Toby often sits right behind me, and when Clark goes to the bathroom I ask if I can talk to him. He's HR, right? He should listen. He looks surprised. "Uhm, sure, yeah. We can go in the break room, if you want more privacy."

I nod. "Yeah, okay, cause it's...it's about Clark." Toby nods, as if he knows, and I go into the conference room with him in my heels. Toby shuts the door and posts a little sign-I can only guess it says something like "don't come in! HR in session!"

"You don't really know much about what I do here, do you?" He asks. "I just listen and let people vent. You can file a complaint about Clark if you want. Or about anybody else, for that matter."

I just nod at him and say, "you don't know what happened yesterday. All day yesterday. It was...stupid crazy. Clark asked Erin if she wanted to 'audition' for the news but nobody actually took the time to think about it. His friend, Duncan-the one who sponsored this so-called audition-really produces all kinds of vulgar news. Stuff like lingerie football and you don't want to know the Guinness records he does."

"Oh my god," Toby says. "Are you saying you think Clark was trying to have sex with Erin under a cover of a news audition?"

"I don't think. I know. He told me. He thought I was in on this plan because I'm his friend, but I'm not. I hate him. I think he's sleazy and a pervert, but Erin trusted him. Erin believed him-why did she believe him? He's a terrible actor and almost everything he said could be seen through but she was so happy she didn't notice."

Toby just stares at me like I've given him the best suspense novel ever. (He loves those. I see a bunch of them on his desk.)

"So then I guess she told Andy, who also didn't see through the plan of 'taping her in different outfits in his apartment' and gave him his freaking credit card-like, are you kidding me?-to get Erin new clothes for this 'audition' and it just felt like I was the only one who could see sense in the whole thing. I wasn't involved, but somehow I was always there, and so I shoved myself in-I don't even know why-it's just, I felt bad for Erin; she would never have done it if she'd known! She wouldn't because she's such a sweet, innocent, faithful person but she was too naive to see through his plan so I stopped it."

"You did it for Erin?" Toby asks, looking at me from over his glasses. "What did you do?"

"Of course I did it for Erin. Who else would I do it for? Me? I told you, I wasn't involved. I involved myself because I couldn't bear to see Clark win and hurt Erin. I was upset but I realized that if Andy was with them, Clark couldn't pull anything, so I strongly hinted that Erin needed a co-anchor...and one that knew her well, so he wouldn't choose me...and it worked. He went with her to audition as well. He brought me along as a make-up guy. I didn't actually do anything-I just wanted to leave, it was painful to watch-"

"Painful to watch what? Clark being disappointed?" Toby inquires, leaning forward a little, as if this is the most important question he'll ask me.

"Did I say painful? I didn't mean that. It was just...weird. Andy and Erin get along well, but they're both really weird. But Clark being disappointed was the best part. He got what he deserved." I quickly backtrack. It wasn't painful to see Andy and Erin together, no it wasn't, because as her friend, she won't do anything to hurt me. As her friend I have no reason to be distressed by her boyfriend. As her friend I have no feelings that go deeper than friendship.

Toby just doesn't look convinced. "Okay, I'm done," I say. "That's all. It just was weighing on me and it was all too stupid to hold on to anyway. And Clark is super-pissed. Is he back yet?"

Toby grins. "You've been talking awhile. He came back a few minutes ago."

I bite my lip. "Why do you find what I did so amusing, anyway?"

He shrugs. "It reminded me of a book, that's all. Do you, by any chance," he says, lowering his voice and leaning forward, "have any feelings for Erin?"

I recoil. "No, I don't! Erin's my friend. Andy had me take her for dinner last night, actually. She's so nice, though. Wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

Toby just sighs and says, "I suppose I would, but that's me. Is this you? Well, I don't know, I don't know you very well. But if I didn't know any better-" he adjusts his glasses and peers at me, "-I'd say you were in love with her." He leaves before I can say anything indignant. I just sit for a minute, watching the vending machines, my cheeks burning.


End file.
